Friday, January 29, 2016

I am so very sad

The Saddest News


A year ago today I posted on Facebook "I am so very sad".  I remember it vividly.  I had just received the phone call that my father had passed away.  I remember walking around my living room not knowing what to do with myself.  I was so sad, I was alone...I felt gutted.  I didn't know what to do.  I sat on a chair and cried...still not knowing how to handle this flood of unwanted emotion.  I thought I must look pitiful sitting here crying...curiosity got the best of me.  I took out my phone and took some "selfies".  My goal in my artistic journey is to portray emotion and I was compelled to chronicle my own emotion.  As the year anniversary of that fateful day approached I knew I would paint this picture.  I knew it would be a sketch that I didn't spend much time on...but I knew I would paint it.  

My Father was everything I want to be.  He never followed the crowd...he always followed his own convictions.  He was funny...loved to joke around and love to sing.  He knew more oddball, offbeat songs than you could ever imagine.  He was always singing.  He was always in a good mood.  He was accepting.  

One of the best things my Daddy ever said to me was " look it up".  Whenever I asked a question he made sure I found the answer, figured out the solution, used my brain.  Of course when I was a child I hated it when he didn't just tell me the answer...but today I realize that I am a problem solver because of his insistence that I "look it up".  

I could fill volumes with stories about how wonderful my Daddy was.  I love him so much.  Today I am melancholy...I am reminiscing...I am sad....but I am so very happy to have had my Daddy for as long as I did.  

this is the pencil sketch I did before I painted my sad portrait.  

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